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Is It Weak To Stay With Your Adulterous Spouse? (Adultery - Part 5)

  “I feel so weak. If I were strong I would leave him/her. If I don't leave my spouse, does that mean I am weak and needy?” I often hear words such as these when walking with a husband or wife whose spouse had an affair.
Let me be clear! You are not weak for seeking to work towards healing, reconciliation, and trust in your marriage. It takes strength to forgive, grieve, have hard healing conversations, and risk trusting again. I believe many of the people I have had the privilege to counsel through affair recovery are some of the most courageous, tenacious, and Godly people I have ever met.
The Bible teaches that we, God’s people, are spiritual adulterers. Are you prepared to call God weak for being faithful and forgiving to His adulterous bride?
“But you have been unfaithful to me, you people of Israel!
You have been like a faithless wife who leaves her husband. 
I, the LORD, have spoken.” — Jeremiah 3:20 (ESV)

Then the LORD said to me, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the LORD still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them.” — Hosea 3:1 (NLT)

O people of Israel,
do not rejoice as other nations do. 
For you have been unfaithful to your God, 
hiring yourselves out like prostitutes, 
worshiping other gods on every threshing floor. — Hosea 9:1 (NLT)

The LORD says,
“Then I will heal you of your faithlessness; 
my love will know no bounds, 
for my anger will be gone forever. — Hosea 14:4 (NLT)
Divorce may be a Biblically acceptable option if your spouse has had an affair, which shows how damaging and destructive adultery is (Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:9). Furthermore, it may be wise or necessary to temporarily separate after an affair to seek healing, clarity of mind, and/or physical safety. There are circumstances, including when your spouse will not repent for his/her adultery or when there are repeated affairs, when divorce may be your wisest option.
He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. — 1 Peter 2:23-24 (NLT)
That disclaimer being said, there are many who have chosen to stay in their marriages after a spouse's affair. If this is you, some will think your staying makes you weak. Be encouraged! Many thought Jesus was weak when he taught his disciples to "turn the other cheek" (Matthew 5:39). Many think Jesus is weak for not retaliating and seeking revenge against those who insulted him (1 Peter 2:23-24). Christian, recognize that you are a spiritual adulterer, and your Heavenly Father forgives you in Christ, remains faithful to you, and does not leave you.  Therefore, honor and encourage those that choose to fight for their marriages even after the devastation of an affair. If you are in the process of affair recovery, please know that this counselor and pastor believes the decision to forgive and rebuild is a brave and courageous one! May God bless you and your marriage, and may the watching world see the grace and faithfulness of God through this very painful and trying time in your life.
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